Written by Andrea Maldonado, LPC
October was National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and as October came and went my husband and I lit our candle to memorialize the losses that we have encountered in years past. Loss of any kind can be traumatic and difficult, but loss of a baby, well that is probably the biggest pain I have ever personally experienced. It wasn’t just my pain either, it was my husband's, and our family’s, who had already come to love the little lives that ended.
For me, I think one of the hardest parts of the experience was how isolating that kind of grief can be. I was lucky enough to have a few friends at the time who had experienced pregnancy loss, and were available for us, but the majority of my circle of friends and family had, surprisingly, little to no experience with the subject. I could feel that they wanted to be there to support my husband and I, but it’s difficult on the other side to know “the right thing” to say.
When we experience a significant loss, we are challenged to continue to find purpose. Our lives have been rewritten. We might seek out therapy from a counselor to cope. A mindfulness approach from a counselor offers an opportunity to honor grief and loss as significant to health and well-being.
Grief gives us the opportunity to pause and reflect. We are alternatively called to re-navigate our lives. We hope to change it into something positive. At that time we give ourselves the opportunity to transition as a person towards something more evolved.
The truth that is quickly understood by a person in the grieving process is that it is not predictable or linear. It can feel very erratic and sometimes out of control. It is often experienced as a “roller coaster” or “spiral” and can feel very unsettling. At times, grief and be frightening. Part of the natural human experience is suffering and this is a prime example of a natural occurrence in a persons life.
Awareness and acceptance of these points are beneficial in the process. Emotional vulnerability gives us opportunity for human growth. Our attachment towards the deceased is expressed as a loss in self identity awareness. The bottom line is that grief and loss is a natural expression of a loss of something that ultimately helped us define ourselves. We are in fact grieving how we ourselves will be changed by the event.
A mindfulness based counselor can assist in the process of sorting thoughts and feelings out during the process. They are able to take the time to sit with you and guide through the process of the vast feelings that are occurring and help make some sense of it and give it purpose.
The goal is acceptance and resolution about the changes that have occurred and in the end, peace.
Written by Beckett Franklin-Gray, LPC-Intern
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Here you will find articles contributed by members of our team. We hope to provide helpful information here to inspire mindful living and general wellness. The information provided here is not a substitue for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak to a professional regarding your mental health, please make an appointment.