On Starting Therapy
Quick answer: Starting therapy means meeting with a trained, objective professional who listens closely, remembers your details, and helps you understand yourself—like a compassionate mirror for your blind spots. Knowing what to expect from your therapist, how to find the right fit, and what the first session looks like removes much of the uncertainty of beginning.
Starting therapy can feel daunting, like any new commitment or habit. This guide—written from a therapist’s perspective—walks through what to expect from your therapist, how to talk with them, how to find the right fit, and what your first session might look like, so there are fewer unknowns standing between you and getting started.
What should I expect from my therapist?
Expect a compassionate mirror: someone who shows you your blind spots, but does so thoughtfully and kindly.
A therapist aims to be an objective voice that is also attuned to your unique, individual needs—a well-meaning, highly trained person who truly listens and remembers the details about you, so each session builds on a better understanding of what is right for you rather than what works for everyone else. Author and therapist Lori Gottlieb compares a therapist to an editor: you are the author of your own story, and the editor suggests tweaks to previous chapters that help you write the next one.
How should I talk with my therapist?
Show up as your authentic self—the one who takes their shoes off at the end of the day—and be an active participant rather than a performer.
It helps to be right in the process of understanding yourself in session, rather than presenting to your therapist or waiting to be told how it is. Your therapist is solely there to help you—you don’t need to appease them or take care of their feelings. Remember they aren’t a mindreader: miscommunication happens, so let them know if they’re missing the mark. And have patience with the process; encapsulating who you are at the pace of one hour a week takes time, and there may be some stumbling in the dark before deeper issues surface.
How do I find the right therapist?
Finding the right therapist takes a bit of self-awareness—and sometimes trial and error.
Consider which type of person you find comfortable opening up with; if a therapist strongly reminds you of someone you have problems with, the first sessions may start on a shaky foundation. First impressions matter in the therapeutic relationship, just as in other relationships. Specialty matters too: most therapists have professional experience across many issues but only a few true passions. You can see a depression specialist for ADHD and still benefit, but your sessions may lean toward their specialty. You can always switch therapists—or ask your current therapist to put in the work on the issue that isn’t being met. Discuss solutions together.
What should I expect from my first session?
The first session is usually about exploring and defining the problems you’re most aware of—and sometimes uncovering ones you aren’t.
It helps to do a bit of self-exploration beforehand: approach the intake form thoughtfully, or journal about what you’d like to see change. From there, you and your therapist may set tentative goals for the first few sessions. Some clients benefit from structured goals; others prefer a loose guideline—the difference between starting with details and working out to the big picture, or starting big and working toward the details. Both are fine. If you’re dealing with a specific concern like persistent worry or low mood, mentioning it early helps—see how we approach anxiety counseling and individual adult counseling.
Do I need group or couples therapy along with individual therapy?
If the issue you’re seeking help for has a significant impact on you, starting with individual therapy is a safe bet—your therapist can recommend group or couples work as needed.
Group therapy is beneficial for learning and practicing skills, hearing different personal perspectives, and receiving support from others working on similar issues. Couples therapy is for working through relationship challenges together with your partner—and it requires a separate, neutral therapist who focuses on the relationship’s needs over either individual’s. That’s different from inviting a partner into an individual session so they can learn how to support you. If you notice individual needs outside the relationship, individual therapy is usually the better place to work through them; for relationship work, see couples counseling.
Removing the unknowns of starting therapy
Therapy works best when you know what to expect: a trained, attuned listener; an authentic, collaborative relationship; a first session that defines goals at your pace; and the flexibility to adjust—your therapist, your goals, or your format—as you learn what you need. Many practices, including Austin Mindfulness Center, offer a free 20-minute consultation before the first session, which helps both you and your therapist confirm the fit.
Getting started. Ready to take the first step? Our individual adult counseling team offers consultations to help you find the right fit.
Frequently asked questions
What if I don’t click with my therapist?
Tell them what’s missing the mark—miscommunication is normal and workable. If the fit still isn’t right, you can switch therapists; finding the right match sometimes takes trial and error, and a good practice will help you do it.
How do I prepare for a first therapy session?
Fill out the intake form thoughtfully, or journal about what you’d like to change. You don’t need a polished agenda—the first session is for exploring and defining your concerns together.
Is there a way to try a therapist before committing?
Yes. Many practices, including Austin Mindfulness Center, offer a free 20-minute consultation call before the first session so you can get a feel for the therapist and the relationship you’d have.
Get started with a therapist at Austin Mindfulness Center—in person in Austin or online across Texas.
